Dementia Gateway: Difficult situations
Aggressive behaviour
Key messages
- It is very difficult to be faced with aggressive behaviour from a person with dementia we are caring for.
- We need to try to see things from the person's point of view.
- Usually, aggressive behaviour communicates an important message.
- When we understand the message, we can meet the person's needs and prevent the situation from happening again
When we realise that aggression is usually a reaction, there's good news – we can do something about it.
Explore the links below now to read more about this topic:
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1. Introduction Open
Being on the receiving end of aggression is often frightening and distressing. When this has come from a person we are trying to help, we may also feel hurt and rejected. But if the person has dementia, we need to be aware that such behaviour is unlikely to be a deliberate act of aggression – in fact, it is much more likely to suggest fear or desperation.
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2. Why is this happening? Open
- Some reasons why a person with dementia might be aggressive include:
- The person might be feeling unheard or misunderstood.
- The person might be feeling threatened or frightened.
- The person might be feeling embarrassed, frustrated or annoyed because they need help to do things they used to do independently.
- The person might be asserting their own wishes when others are trying to make them do something they don't want to do.
- The person might be in pain.
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3. A reaction – not a symptom Open
Aggressive behaviour is by no means a common response from people with dementia.
Only rarely is it actually a symptom of the dementia. If aggression does occur, the most likely reason is that the person is reacting to a distressing situation – for example, they are being stopped from leaving their own home or being helped with bathing by a person they do not recognise who has not explained what they are doing.
The starting point in understanding aggressive behaviour from a person with dementia is to consider what might be going on from their point of view.
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4. The message behind the behaviour Open
Because of the way dementia affects the brain, the person may have lost some of the inhibitions that would have prevented them from showing their feelings in this way previously.
But the feelings being expressed now are important because they represent the person's way of saying something significant. And we need to understand the message. This could be, for example, 'I feel like a prisoner', 'I'm frightened – I don't understand what's going on', 'I'm in pain', or 'I'm so frustrated'.
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5. Responding effectively Open
When we look for the message behind a person's behaviour, we are well on the way to finding an effective response. The important thing is to try to see things from the person's point of view.
It might be that we can do something different straight away to respond to the person's feelings, for example, we need to take a walk around the garden with the person who is feeling trapped. (See the 'Gardens' feature in the 'Environment' section.)
Or perhaps there's nothing that would help immediately, but we can put plans in place to sort out the issue that has upset the individual. For instance, if we realise that a person's aggression comes from feeling frustrated about things they can't do now, it will be vital to find things that the person can still do, and encourage them to use these remaining strengths as much as possible.
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6. Learning and improving Open
We may need to face up to the fact that there's something we did – without meaning to – that brought on the person's difficult feelings and reaction. For example, we may realise that we have been focusing on the personal care task we've come to do, but forgetting that the person's poor memory and problems with recognition mean that they don't know who we are or what we are doing.
So we need to slow down, introduce ourselves, help the person feel safe and secure in our company and explain our intentions. We shouldn't blame ourselves, but it's important to keep learning.
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7. Individual differences Open
We might find out something about the person's background that explains why they react as they do – for example, someone who was once the victim of a mugging may become frightened if they are approached from behind.
We might simply find out, through picking up the messages communicated through behaviour, that there is a specific way an individual needs things to be done. One person may need her food to be cut up before it is served. Another may feel very distressed when he is not wearing a tie.
Over to you!
Click here to do a quick activity that will deepen your understanding of this topic. The activity can be done alone or with colleagues and you can also download a copy. Trainer's notes have also been provided.
Extra reading
If you visit the Dementia links section you will find suggestions for extra reading on this topic.
Visit our e-learning resources on dementia!
Visit our e-learning resources on 'Living with Dementia' and 'What causes dementia?' which explore the types of dementia and commons symptoms as well as the experience of dementia. The resource contains audio, video and a variety of interactive exercises. .



