Dementia Gateway: Getting to know the person with dementia
Getting to know me: touchstones of my life
Key messages
- If you know key information about a person's life before they developed dementia, this will greatly assist your relationship with them.
- Dementia care services need to decide how to gather key information about someone's life story. Involving the person's relatives in this can be a great help.
- Identifying strong social and cultural 'touchstones' – or events of great personal significance – is a way of coming up with a means that will help you to connect with a person with dementia.
- Songs, films and sporting heroes from when the person was in their late teens and early twenties will often have a strong meaning for people.
If we know the stories from a person's life it becomes much easier to see the person behind the disease label.
Explore the links below now to read more about this topic:
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1. Introduction Open
As we know well, dementia has a profound impact on memory or more specifically on the laying down or storage of recent events in our memory. Because of this and the communication difficulties in dementia, it is often not possible for people to tell us their history or what have been the key themes in their lives that have shaped them.
If we know the stories from a person's life it becomes much easier for us to see the person behind the disease label. Look at the woman on this page and be aware of the first impressions that form in your mind. If you knew that as a child her mother had died when she was seven, that she had worked undercover for the British army in France during the second world war and that she had gone on to be one of the first female head-teachers at a large comprehensive school, your impressions of her are likely to change.
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2. Life stories Open
Learning about people's life stories can take many different forms. Creating a life story book with sections on childhood, teens, working life and family life can be enjoyable for the person with dementia and also for their family. Many imaginative life story programmes exist: some use collages, others use pictures, photographs or objects to evoke positive recall of days gone by. Sometimes these special items are placed in a memory box.
It is often possible to find out something simple from the person's past such as where they lived or what they did for a living. Using this as a starting point, you can then reminisce with them using pictures and objects relating to this part of the person's life (see the 'Activity resources and approaches' feature in the 'Keeping active and occupied' section).
As the process continues more and more memories will be recovered. This helps you to build a picture of the person and helps them to communicate with you.
Events and memories from our teens and twenties can often act as 'touchstones' – or events of great personal significance – in the here and now and remind us of who we are at our core.
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3. Music Open
A good place to start is with music. Even if a person has not heard a particular song from their teens for many years, the chances are that if they hear it again they will still be able to remember every word and sing along.
Even if it wasn't a particular favourite, it will evoke memories of a time when the person felt more confident and potent in their life. If you know that song too you also become associated with positive feelings and a sense that together you share something core to that person's identity (see the 'Creative arts' feature in the 'Keeping active and occupied' section).
Unless you have access to someone who knew the person well during their teens and early twenties, you are unlikely to know the songs, the films, the sporting moments and the events that will be well known to them. However, what we do have access now to the internet, so this is a great place to start to search for resources and ideas.
Over to you!
Click here to do a quick activity that will deepen your understanding of this topic. The activity can be done alone or with colleagues and you can also download a copy. Trainer's notes have also been provided.
Extra reading
If you visit the Dementia resources section you will find suggestions for extra reading on this topic.
Visit our e-learning resources on dementia!
Visit our e-learning resources 'Positive communication' and the 'Life course approach', which provide a range of practical strategies on communicating effectively with a person with dementia. The resources contain audio, video and a variety of interactive exercises.
