In Shared Lives, a young person or adult who needs support or a place to live moves in with or regularly visits an approved Shared Lives carer. Together, they share family and community life. Shared Lives has always been a service available to adults, but in recent years this has extended to include people from the age of 16. Transition to adult social care can be challenging practically, mentally and emotionally. Transition is often referred to as ‘the cliff edge’, where many services end and young people are transferred to new social work teams, health care providers, support services, and third-sector organisations that play a role in helping to maintain a happy, healthy life.
The rationale behind accessing Shared Lives from 16 or 17 is to provide a baseline of stability, to develop a safe home environment and establish trusting relationships as a source of support and stability throughout these major transitions. The values and principles of how Shared Lives works are relevant for people of all ages, but seem especially relevant to young people in transition. The opportunity to be part of a family and social network in young adulthood sets a young person up for the road ahead.
Shared Lives carers use their family home as a resource, so young people access their support in a very normal home and family environment like their peers. This provides committed and consistent relationships and reduces the risk of young people feeling like a burden or a ‘job’. The relationship between the Shared Lives carer and the young person is one of mutual benefit. Shared Lives carers want to be present in a young person’s life; they want the young person to be present in theirs. It is a shared life.
Paul’s story
Paul is a young man who first accessed Shared Lives aged 17. Joe is his Shared Lives carer.
Paul has been living with Joe and his wife for the past eight years. He celebrated his 18th birthday with his Shared Lives family.
Joe says: “Paul was our second placement. At the time, our own children were 15 and 16 so it was really important that whoever moved in with us was compatible.”
Paul’s introduction to Joe was an initial day visit, where they went to a fair together.
Joe recalls: “Paul won one of the prizes at the raffle and ended up going on stage. Then we had a weekend together and the rest is history.”
When Paul moved in he needed a high level of practical support and personal care, including assistance washing, brushing his teeth and shaving, help to go to bed and to complete his night-time routine. Eight years on, Paul’s skills around independence and self-care have developed significantly.
“Paul now chooses his clothes, he’ll shave, shower, get dressed and come down by himself. None of that was possible when he came.”
Joe
Paul shared what it’s been like: “Now I’m more independent, I feel good. I do my shower, my dress, my own teeth, my own clothes, the whole thing is fine and I keep doing fine.”
The personal development of people in Shared Lives is not isolated to the person that comes to stay.
Joe explains: “My wife comes from a social work background whereas I do not, so initially, relating to Paul’s needs was difficult, hearing about his background was very different to being hands on and actually as the months went on, our roles reversed and I ended up being the main Shared Lives carer. We had a 60th birthday party for me four years ago. My children were asked to say something about me, nobody did and guess who did? Paul. He said what a wonderful chap I was in front of everyone. I was in tears. Although my children aren’t saying anything, this man did.”
Looking at this example of Shared Lives, you can see the spectrum of the ordinary and the extraordinary. From learning how to shave, to giving a speech on behalf of your Shared Lives family.
On how it’s been supporting someone at the age of transition, Joe says: “It’s been different seeing someone growing up to be an adult; it’s a totally different experience. You change your whole perspective on how you address the situation.”
On what the experience has been like from Paul’s perspective, he says: “I’ve been with my family for eight years and I’m happy. They’re my whole world, my whole life.”