By Carrie Bower, Practice Development Consultant Trainer at SCIE
Domestic Abuse Awareness Month, recognised each October, is dedicated to raising awareness of domestic abuse, challenging common myths and misconceptions, reducing stigma, and encouraging open conversations that help people recognise abuse and seek support.
When we talk about domestic abuse, much of the conversation focuses on an event or a crisis. What if, instead of asking “What’s happened to this person?”, we also asked, “What has this person lived through?”
One of the things I have learned from working alongside older adults is that abuse rarely exists in isolation. It sits alongside oppression and discrimination, bereavement, ill health, caring responsibilities and generational norms.
Sometimes abuse has been present for decades. For some older victim-survivors, the abuse we see today may be part of a pattern that began many years ago. For others, it may emerge later in life as circumstances change. Retirement, ill health, cognitive decline, changing family dynamics or increasing dependency can all create opportunities for someone to exert power and control.
A crisis may bring someone to the attention of services, but the story often starts much earlier. That is why understanding the life course matters. If we focus only on the presenting issue, we risk missing the bigger picture. Too often, professional conversations focus exclusively on needs and risk. Of course, understanding these are important, but when we focus only on deficits, we miss something equally important.
So, as professionals, we need to consider the following.
Strengths
The older adults I have met throughout my career and personal life have survived experiences that would be unimaginable to others. They have developed strategies to keep themselves safe, protect their families and navigate systems that are not always designed with them in mind.
That does not mean they have not been harmed. It means they have survived.
Being trauma-informed
We must acknowledge that the impact of abuse is diverse, while also recognising the strengths, skills and wisdom that adults bring from their lived experience.
Building relationships based on trust
Understanding the experiences of older victim-survivors: a thematic analysis from Dewis Choice highlights the importance of creating relational safe spaces for older victim-survivors to have the space to tell their stories safely.
For many, trust takes time, and we need to be able to:
- listen deeply
- be comfortable with silence
- understand that disclosure is often a process rather than an event
- accept that trauma doesn’t always look the way we expect; we all carry biases about what domestic abuse looks like.
Often, the most important intervention is not a form, an assessment or a procedure. It is making somebody feel heard.
We know this also requires organisational support, and this is something to be raised as The Big Conversation on Care, being led by the Independent Commission on Adult Social Care, explores the future of adult social care. I believe trauma-informed practice has an important place in that discussion. Not as another initiative or piece of jargon, but as a way of understanding people’s lives. It sees histories, strengths, relationships and aspirations; adults whose experiences matter, and whose voices need to be heard.
For older victim-survivors of domestic abuse, that understanding can be transformative.
SCIE partners with organisations to anticipate and manage safeguarding risks, with expert-led insights, tailored training and co-produced solutions. Our safeguarding support is bespoke to you and your organisation, and our work is always evidence-based, using the latest and most rigorous insights about what constitutes best practice. Contact consultancy@scie.org.uk or training@scie.org.uk to find out how we can help.
